ITEM!
Hey, gang, gather 'round and take a listen to this here cherry of a bit o' news!
Just
nine (9) days from today, the hit romance parody "Pirates of the Danube" will be available
for free on Kindle.
The big book giveaway will take place on Passover / Palm Sunday weekend, March 23 and 24. On these two days, you'll be able to download this steaming pile of literature
for free from Kindle.
Enjoy delectable little titbits of erotic literature such as these:
* * * *
The table was set with a glamorous Viennese
breakfast of blood pudding and spotted dick. The Baron had doubtless warned the
servants that he and Pepper would need a hearty breakfast, as they were
ravenous with the hunger of the recently laid.
* * * *
“Your candles, Baron,” Pepper began, haltingly.
“They’ve caught the drapes ablaze…” The Baron shook his head, staring only at
Pepper’s heaving décolletage.
“The servants shall…” he muttered without
finishing his sentence. The Baron appeared to have been rendered absolutely
incapable of speech, his tongue silenced by the intense arousal, as if he were
some sort of libidinal Avox.
* * * *
A dapper young man staggered out, reeking of
cheap rum. His hair was dishevelled and his shirt tail untucked; and yet, he
bore the unmistakeable mien of a man with wealth. The man’s arms were draped
around two of Madame Abigail’s most whorish whores.
The twin shutters of the uppermost window of
the brothel swung open with a bang. “Mister Darcy, as I live and breathe!”
shouted the buxom Madame. “The greatest benefactor my brothel has ever known!”
* * * *
“A preternatural evil is being awakened in
Vienna,” Sigmund told Pepper. “Terrible pagan rites are taking place in
secretive catacombs beneath the earth. Covens of cloaked figures are engaging
in horrific rituals, coaxing an ancient beast awake from eons of slumber.”
“I should very much like to see your cock,”
Pepper said.
* * * *
As the couple entered Doctor Freud’s room,
Pepper pulled a long match from betwixt her cleavage and lit the candles on the
nightstand. “Why ever do you light all these candles, Miss MacOralby?” Sigmund
asked. “Why all this light?”
“The better to bang you by, my dear.”
* * * *
Tell your friends, tell your neighbors, tell your rabbi, priest and pastor--there's no better way to celebrate these high holy days than by downloading
Pirates of the Danube.
